......but why do I feel the same?
Its a little late right now dear friend so I don't have an image to help tell my story, but I figured it has been so long since I posted that I just want to get this out quickly and promise to blog more later.
I finally decided to start telling those that matter that I am a Lesbian (hey it feels great to even post it here!).
I have so far only come out to a few of my cousins I am closest to, havn't told my 18yr old son yet although I suspect he already knows, or at least would not be stunned by the declaration.
What he knows as well as my disabled son is that I am and will always be the best mother I can be and that will never change or be affected by anything or anyone in my personal life.
It reminds me of something I once read about people with disabilities or severe disabilities such as my 17yr old has. People that need much in physical care and feelings of security, don't have the hang up of whether someone is gay, strait, black or white, it matters more to them that the very fundamental need of being cared for and treated well, and loved if at all possible is more important than anything.
I have that tatooed in my mind.
Getting ready to start my Master's program now that is what I have alot of anxiety about!
Otherwise, life pertty much is the same.
There is so much more I could talk about right now but I will close now to try to get a little sleep. and I promise to talk more about where I am headed and what I want to do with my life now at age 53, thanks for reading.
Take Good Care, Love Debra
Monday, January 2, 2012
Friday, March 11, 2011
NOT A FEEL GOOD STORY FOR ME & I AM NOT ALONE!
MobilityWorks
View Video of
Chris Medina at MobilityWorks
Chris Medina at MobilityWorks
It has been awhile since I posted something, but this story really bothers me on a very personal level!
I made it a point to reply to an email that was generated to me from this company, the very company that has denied me the purchase of a wheelchair accessible van, even an old one, over the years.
Grant it there were and are credit issues, I am the first to admit that however, I wanted to emphasize to this company that it is a sort of slap in the face of so many families like myself who are in poor credit status due to having to care for someone with severe disabilities, and that is only the beginning of the sacrifices made because of caring for a loved one with many issues.
Dealerships that sell these vans, are generally few in any given area, as there are only 2 in my area (and still a distance), and are the only places where these types of vehicles can be purchased.
I realize that it is a business, and they wanted to promote the company, however, when I think of all of the families that I know personally, with some situations even worse than my own, who could also use a little break, whether it is a van or some other item necessary to caring for the individual, this story is a reminder of the unfairness in life.
A reminder to anyone that is caring for someone with a severe illness or disability. Our day to day, is because we are trying to meet the challenges and avoid the options of placing the person in some type of facility to be managed and given custodial care, and in many cases rely upon the government tax dollars.
It is a sacrifice that very few asked for, but accept, and we are trying often giving up who we are in the process.
The efforts that this once American Idol contestant made is worthy of recognition, and perhaps had Mobility Works not used it as a marketing source to boost their overpriced vehicles that in this day and age not many people can afford, I personally may have been able to go on and not be so disheartened by it all.
But the last thing I want to see, as my on w/c van is about to fall apart is to have this company that I have tried and tried to work with in the past, generate an email to me about the wonderful thing they have done as a company!
Sorry, but not feeling it!
Debra A Reaze
Sunday, December 26, 2010
Hey Karen, I promised myself to keep this light for you......
Dubai, said to be the world's wealthiest little city!I just want you to know that I think about you and your family often, although I don't get around to showing it as much as I should.
I guess during this time espescially, I figure your world is so filled with family, friends and all the holiday happenings, that we will connect at some point down the road!
I can remember (thank goodness), how we were as children and growing into young women, the endless phone conversations and important milestones when we were young. That's why its hard to believe the different paths that our lives have taken and the life events that have helped to shape who we are today, and who we will be in the years to come.
But having said that, I may not fully know all there is to know about who you are now and there is probably some things you might not know about me, but what I do know is that we still share that love of eating and shopping!
Yes you did wear me out last time, so I am ready for you the next time dear.
I found something just for you that I know you are one of the few people who would find it interesting, with a hint of my love for world travel.
This is said to be the wealthiest little city in the Middle East or the world even with the worlds largest mall!
Get a cocktail, sit back and relax and dream**************
Love, cousin Debra.
To Karen, enjoy... ps, turn your sound up a little
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xz5L3f8eqkQ&feature=related
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
A Holiday Wish for my cousin JT, and cousin Lynn aka (Pebbles). A Toast!!
Just in case you all forgot to get your Kwanzaa candles, I thought you could enjoy these!Okay, no more of that language, and clear your heads for a moment I just wanted to wish you both much love, health and happiness in the coming year!
It has been comforting to have you both closer in my heart now than we have ever been in our lives, maybe life has worked out to be that way for a reason.
And when I am doin all my talkin, or when I listen to whats on your mind, however it comes out... I feel connected to family more now than when I was younger, your dad being a very special part of it all too!
So having said that, I wanted to give you two something unique,
in my own way just click on the sites and know that I do hope your dreams come true!
Pebbles>>> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7c_MKAuguBo&feature=related
**************************
J T>>> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iE_Dfr_y9AQ
Love Always, Cousin Debra
Thursday, December 16, 2010
Unit 10: Rating Myself....Again.
Well here we are in unit 10, and here I am again after 12 midnight on my blog and eating Sour Punch Straws (candy), I know, I know, I know!But once again I will reflect on my spiritual, physical and psychological well being.
Taking a look at back at unit 3, I am still rating myself around a 6 due to just not finding the time or energy to exercise like I need to, as in about 6 hours or less I have to get up and get my disabled son ready for the school bus at 7:30am.
He is just about as tall as I am now but unable to bear his own weight. Are these excuses, sure they are! But what I realize is that my goal has more to do with time management, and needing to get more rest and schedule exercise as an essential part of my day.
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As I have discussed before, if I believe nothing else, I do believe that a routine exercise/yoga routine, and yes some form of meditation which may or may not include Dacher's method, is what will be the catalyst to virtually everything else that I am doing or that I will do in my life. There is just an overwhelming amount of validation to the benefits of exercise, but I still have to be realistic about rating myself and I don't feel that I have gone far beyond around a 6 in all three areas, even after this course.
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Now that I have had to set up this blogsite, I feel that it has opened a door for me to discuss some of those crossroads or excuses that I use to not exercise, and get feedback.
And I now can openly discuss other issues I find important, so possibly these are the small steps needed to get to that higher rating.
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One last thought I'd like to share, late this evening while finishing up some class work and listening to a show I watch 'The Last Word' hosted by Lawrence ODonnell, MSNBC
he talked about a trip he took to Malawi , Africa and how it changed his life.
This was powerful for me listening to the story and it gave me as someone who loved traveling and learning about other cultures a moment to remind myself about what is really important.
Have a great holiday everyone!
Sunday, December 12, 2010
Unit 9: Project/Blog Whew!
MY REALITY 
MY DREAM
Our society is too complex in my opinion to have a set of standards where everyone fits neatly into what is considered having the ultimate in physical, mental and spiritual health. Suggesting that as a professional one is not capable of providing their clients with the necessary tools for achieving health and wellness until they have personally reached it themselves.
It is more important that we recognize in our personal lives where we need to develop psychologically and physically, however, depending on the point we are starting from the process could take longer given the daily responsibilities of many individuals.
Spirituality is important in the goal to achieve wholeness, but for many of us, we need to spend more time exploring and evaluating what particular practice of spirituality we will choose to provide us with the balance of having faith and coping effectively with the world around us.
With the 3 dimensions that are mentioned, I am a believer that through the commitment to physical exercise, the level of energy and mental focus that will be gained should allow me as a professional to manage assisting my clients or another type of career in the field of Public Health with more clarity and self assuredness.
I actually will give myself a low score as it applies to physical fitness, the problem being that I fail to organize my day to include a solid exercise program, and to admit that purchasing equipment has not made a difference in the lack of management.
I have promised myself to not purchase any type of exercise equipment or videos, as I recognize the financial waste.
Mentally, I will admit to feeling ok and allow myself and high sore based in having an understanding of what it is I need to do personally and what will be expected of me in my career. I have fortunately not fallen, victim to any activity that will cloud my thinking, therefore I am able to live in the reality of my life as needed, and hopefully make the best possible decisions.
My spirituality is definitely an area that I am not in total agreement with the authors of our reading material. It may have a lot to do with my travels and interest in learning about other cultures and their religious practices. Therefore, I will give myself a medium score since I believe spirituality is a lifelong learning process that will help me maintain an open heart and mind to the beliefs of others.
The psychological goal I would like to achieve needs to involve a method of meditative practice that works well for me as an individual. I am of the belief now that it is necessary to quiet my thoughts which will no doubt be achieved through the visualization techniques as described through our readings.
For me I found myself more successful with this method, than with others suggested throughout the course.
Spiritually, I remain unchanged as an agnostic and with an interest in learning more of the teachings of Buddhism. It is a personal goal that I become successful spiritually as well, but as a professional I can't allow that to prevent me from at least evaluating how spirituality plays an important part in the lives of others.
In order to commit myself to a physical exercise program I know that taking a hard look at my daily routine will be the first task, since this is where I fall short in
commitment to a designated time, and view it as an essential part of my day such as I do for grooming.
I agree with the first of the "Eight Principles of Integral Practice", (Dacher, pp 118), that each small step I take to achieve an exercise program supports the next step or evolve into a more solid program.
Even though I am focusing on physical exercise, this step will apply to my mental fitness, and like many who believe that both physical and mental health go hand in hand.
It is one of those areas where I can't deny the enormous amount of research material available that supports this theory.
In addition to this strategy, it will be necessary to include healthier eating habits and above all a sufficient amount of sleep.
Whew!
As stated before, achieving my personal goal in spirituality is not as simple to put into words as it is to be aware of what I believe at this point in my life and why I believe it.
I would just rather not be judged right now by anyone who is determined that I follow a certain path as part of my goal to achieve integral health, since it is such a personal and gradual journey for me, I believe I will know when I have achieved it.
I truly hope for a line or barrier that I can cross, (I wish it were a true visible line), that lets me know that I have gotten to the other side of the areas I would like to achieve in my mental and physical well being.
It's almost as if I would do well with having a finish line to cross like I am running a marathon.
After 6 months or so of working towards a solid health and wellness program, just having accomplished that amount of time with minimal failure will be an exciting accomplishment for me.
However, like most of us who have the responsibility of caring for others, I believe the constant acknowledgement of why we need to continue and or modify our programs should be evident in how we feel, and how we are performing in our careers. We are confronted with the added emotional pressure of why it is important to take better care of ourselves, therefore, incorporating a physical exercise program, a meditation practice and yes a sound spiritual practice should sustain us for some time to come.
I PLAN TO CONTINUE BLOGGING, I ENJOYED THE COURSE,
EVERYONE TAKE CARE!
Dacher, Elliott S. M.D. "The Eight Principles of Integral Practice". Integral Practice.
Integral Health the Path to Human Flourishing. Basich Health, 2006. Chap.12, p 118.
Sunday, December 5, 2010
Its SNOWING outside, so I would rather visualize something else!
I sat with my sons recently and watched the movie Avatar again (which is quite rare to have moments like that), and knowing ahead of time what the topic of our blog was for this week, I found myself paying more attention to the scenenary and meaning behind certain elements of this fictional place and what was being communicated.
I have always loved nature and the peacefulness of gardening, long walks through parks and best of all waterfalls! There are few things more serene and meaningful to me than to listen and watch a roaring waterfall in the midst of a heavily wooded area.
Funny story: When my oldest was about 5, we went to Niagra Falls, Canada. If anyone remembers how you walk along the sidewalk and one side are the Niagra Falls that you can see, and on the sidewalk side are the landscaped lawns of the hotels and I think homes too. I am excited that my kids are going to get to see the Falls and go on the Maid of Mist cruise, when suddenly my son screams "wow look at that"! And he's jumping and pointing to the little water sprinkler twirling around on the lawn! That certainly was a sign of the future as he really doesn't care about nature unless its in a video game!
Anyway, the meditation and visualization techniques used in this course are worthy of having them as a skill to use during times of stress, unhappiness, or I just want out of here moments, but you can't actually leave the scene.
Whether it is a place or activity that is real and stands the chance of becoming a true event,I believe visualization aids in reducing stress levels, or promotes a clear thought as to how to handle a major upcoming event.
I was able to find an article discussing the "healing power of visualization", http://healing.about.com/od/visualization/a/powerofmind.htm, as the author describes it as a form of self hypnosis, and similar to what is being discussed throughout this course it describes the brain's connection to every cell in your body. I plan to read it again and research this theory.
As for my love of the movie Avatar, I am not alone in wishing I had a "Tree of Souls" in my backyard to just look at and sit under and feel the healing powers.
For anyone who also enjoyed the movie I found this short clip about Pandora, use it just for those I want out of here moments! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GBGDmin_38E&NR=1
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